咖啡的苦

还记得那天，你对我说，你不喜欢咖啡，因为它苦。你不爱苦。

我爱咖啡，亦爱你。

今天，我有咖啡无时无刻围绕我。却不曾拥有你。。。

我想，我还在等待吧。或是习惯了?

我没有再去想你离去的原因。却也无法忘记你。

偶尔，还是回留意你的背影。还是没遇见。无缘吧。

星星还会笑，风还在吹拂我的回忆。日子还要过。

我对别人说，现在我还不需要一个男生在我身边。可我不知道是因为我真的不需要，还是我在等

待你重新回到我的生活里。

心里也有无奈的感觉。。。宁愿去相信那天的感觉，也不愿残酷的告诉自己你不会回来了。

埋首在孤独的生活里，告诉自己路途遥远。

喝一口咖啡，不愿再想起那天的甜蜜。。。

I Take It Too Serious

Day by day, it's been some time we know each other.

Maybe i don't know you that much and deep. And so do you.

If you know me enough, you should know how much i care and how serious i take friends.

Easily hurt, that's me. And i will choose to leave when the hurt is pain enough. I'm the dumbest who always care other people. At the end, I found myself foolish enough to care for you guys and delay my work and future.

That's really enough. I just need some time to leave whoever is not sincere to what i gave out.

Lastly, "Bye".

我以为

我以为那代表遗忘，那代表放下， 那代表重生。。。 却忽略了那只是逃避，那只是强逼性的遗忘。。。所做的都把思念埋得更深更多。。。

我以为我是那么的潇洒，可以默默的支持默默的祝福。。。却没注意到一切都是默默的思念。。。

我以为我总是那么的坚强，总是扶持别人，给人安慰。。。却从没告诉你，你就是我的一切。。。

你好吗？你的生日快到了。。。我忘不了。。。却不知能如何送你一份小小心意。我们还会再见吗？缘分尽了吗？

希望不是。。。希望不会。。。

我想你。

独

寻寻觅觅。。。没有缘分就是没有缘分。。。无论怎么去努力也不会有结果。
无论怎么努力的去接近你，到后来才发现。。。距离更远了。为什么？
好累。我一直希望自己能努力作些什么打动你的心。。。却都是无功而返。。。而且把我们的心拉远了。。。
我是不是不该爱上你？
我们相遇的时间真的错得那么离谱吗？
在这繁忙的城市里，停停走走，看着每一个背影，寻找这你的味道。没有收获。却在每一个角落，看见你我的回忆。。。孤独的看这我们的回忆。
似乎没什么地方能把我容下。。。你的心也容不下我。。。我的心里，却有满满的你。
热巧克力，好甜。有你的味道。。。
越来越迷恋巧克力了。是因为你吗？
现在的我，就象鸵鸟一样，把头埋在沙子里，不愿看你离开我的身边。沙子里的空气不足以让我存活。
近乎窒息那一刻，抬起了头，却看见身边少了你。。。

What & How it mean to me?!

Sometimes, I will think…what I actually want in Aikido? Actually I don really know…
Should I participate while I having so many assignment? Should I attend while the journey is so far from my place? Should I train while I do not have a partner with me? Should I?
Kind of confuse and lonely…what I want?
Although the reason I stay in Aikido is already changed…but am I actually suitable in this?
I found some sincere people in Aikido. I found some happiness in Aikido. And I found somethg which I can’t get out there.
I saw some ppl really committed in Aikido. I can’t figure out how much they love Aikido…somehow can say is endless…
What am I if compare with them? A blur and stupid aikidoka? What had I promise before? Can I really do something for Aikido?
I am too tiny, I think…how long can I hold on? After my first grading in Shudokan? Or months? Years? Or forever?
Why I always worry this and that? Where is the confident that I should have as an aikidoka? Years…till now I still dono where is it…What the hell problem I have?!
Can anyone tell me?